THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND THE OBSCURE: ISSUE 12
August 1, 2006
WELCOME TO THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND OBSCURE!!!
ALTHOUGH THESE OVERLOOKED FOOTNOTES OF MOVIEDOM HAVE BEEN LOST IN THE ANNULS OF FILM HISTORY, THEY STILL EXIST IN THE MEMORY OF OUR CINEMATIC SUBCONCIOUS!
THESE ARE THE FILMS YOU DONT REMEMBER THE NAMES OF, BUT ARE SURE YOU SAW THEM!
THESE ARE THE FILMS WHO’S TV SPOTS SCARED YOU WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD!
THESE ARE THE FILMS THAT WERE MADE IN A TIME WHEN MOST OF THE COUNTRY WAS COKED UP!
SOME ARE HITS. MOST ARE MISSES. BUT EVEN THE FAILURES ARE SO SPECTACULAR, THEY CANNOT BE DENIED!
DO YOU DARE ENTER THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND OBSCURE??? READ ON, AT YOUR OWN PERIL! -JSYN.
8/06: Hey Jerks it’s me, Jsyn, creator of The Vault back in action!
Yeah, yeah I know it’s been a while since I last posted. I’ve been a little busy… MAKING movies now and I haven’t really had time to simply write about them. Especially the shitty ones you guys keep pestering me about. Honestly, I’m a Hollywood big shot now, I don’t have time for wise-ass reviews of Z-level bombs that are only relevant to a handful of celibate horror geeks with no lives.
Ugh, YES I see the irony in the fact that I AM sitting here writing wise-ass reviews of Z-level bombs that are relevant only to a handful of horror geeks with no lives.
At least I’m not celibate. I got a girlfriend… she, uh, lives in Canada, yeah so what?
(sigh)
We may as well flip the tracks on this train wreck, so here goes:
THE DEVIL’S RAIN (1976) d: Robert Fuest
…Woah woah woah woah woah… This is not my Batman cup… And there is a satanic horror movie from the Seventies starring Tom Skerrit, John Travolta, Bill Shatner and Ernie Borgnine that I haven’t seen until now? What the hell is wrong with me? How did this one fly under my radar for so long? I guess my head is totally up my ass! I watched this on cable the other night and it fucking ruled. There’s no point in explaining it because it was fucking crazy. I loved the end with the melty people and GoatBorgnine. Watch for the cameo by Anton LaVey. Yes, a real life Satanist in a satanic horror movie. Where the fuck is Criterion ’cause I got something for their “collection”? Go get this now.
FRIGHT FACT! Dig the special makeup effects by the legendary John Chambers (PLANET OF THE APES)! –jsyn. -8/06
5 DEAD ON THE CRIMSON CANVAS / MACHINES OF LOVE AND HATE (1996/2003) d: Joe Parda
Let’s get serious for a moment… the name of this column is “The Vault of Forgotten and Obscure” so I’m gonna get really obscure on your asses with these two picks.
5 DEAD is a love letter to Italian giallo films of the sixties and seventies. Giallo itself is a very specific subgenre that not everyone has a taste for, so if weird Italian slasher flicks aren’t your cup o’blood, move along. But those who are open-minded enough to seek this one out and appreciate what the filmmakers were going for will be pleasantly surprised. With all the hoopla around a “retro” horror flick like GRINDHOUSE where the filmmakers set out to recreate the experience of a period subgenre, it’s easy to see 5 DEAD get some belated and well-deserved recognition. Basically, two guys from Long Island made a 70’s Italian giallo movie in the 90’s… entirely on Long Island. Bravo!
Now MACHINES OF LOVE AND HATE on the other hand, is fucking trippy and frankly I’ve never seen anything like it. Here’s what it says on the box, “A mysterious hitchhiker, who can only remember nightmarish fragments of his past is picked up by a car driven by a beautiful, but deeply troubled young woman. He is whisked to her secluded home where he meets her strange parents. Here, in this dysfunctional house of horrors, will his past, present and future, intersect with supernatural phenomena, blasphemous resurrection and apocalyptic revelations.” Werd. Combining some disturbing elements, a little bit of an erotic thriller, maybe even a little bit of dysfunctional family drama in there, MACHINES is wholly original. Eileen Daly (RAZOR BLADE SMILE) and the ubersexy Tina Krause are reason enough to check this out, but there is much more here than just some cheesecake. These two flicks almost feel like they belong in another place and time. The closest I can compare the filmmaking style would be to that of David Lynch or Dante Tomaselli, and I mean that as a sincere compliment.
For those hungry for something radically different, raw and maybe even a little bizarre, seek these out and feel good about supporting truly independent visionary filmmakers. –jsyn. -8/06
RETURN TO OZ (1985) d: Walter Murch
Make fun all ya want, but if you haven’t seen it, umm…. shaddupa you face!
Bizarre, horrific, insane, wonderfully irreverent. I don’t know what that last one means but I saw it in a review of a Woody Allen movie. Picking right up where the original left off, Auntie Em thinks Dorothy is nuts so she drops her off at a Children’s Hospital for the Mentally Insane, where they actually perform shady procedures on children! Dorothy escapes and ends up back in Oz somehow to stop somebody from doing something to the Munchins or whoever. Don’t ask too many questions and just marvel at the sheer audacity of the studio (yeah, DISNEY) that greenlit this “sequel to the Wizard of Oz”. See, the 80’s were ALL about sequels. Remake Fever is definitely a post-Millenium thing. Ah, the good ‘ol days…
For those of you out there with actual living, breathing g-g-girlfriends (or the like), surprise ’em with this one night and get ready for some heavy petting!
FRIGHT FACT! This was Faruzia Balk’s (the hot wacko goth chick from THE CRAFT) first movie. Isn’t it weird watching a movie from the 80’s with a little girl that you know turned into a hot woman in the present? Deliciously weird! –jsyn. -8/06
BURNT OFFERINGS (1976) d: Dan Curtis
Ok, here is another absolute gem of Seventies horror which has gone mostly unnoticed by audiences today. If you were born before 1980, you might have seen this on WWOR or WPIX one lazy Sunday afternoon. A family moves into a big scary house to act as caretakers and nursemaids to the reclusive old hag that lives in the attic or some shit. That alone should have tipped them off, but hey, there’s a swimming pool! The Mom starts to take her duties a little too seriously and the Dad has visions of a ridonkulously creepy chauffer who wears his sunglasses at night. And the house seems to clean itself up after any unfortunate “accidents” occur. You wanna talk about star power? This one’s got Karen Black! Oliver Reed! Burgess Meredith! Bette freakin’ Davis! Great cast, and great stuff from the guy who made “Dark Shadows” and like a zillion other atmospheric genre pieces.
One of the coolest “the house is alive” movies ever, this is kinda like an amped up, adult version of MONSTER HOUSE. Close this window and head over to Amazon.com right quick, before Hollywood remakes it with some twat from One Tree Hill.
FRIGHT FACT! Bette Davis supposedly hated this film, the script, the director, the crew and told them off daily. I heard she was an old bitch anyway. –jsyn. -8/06
REFLECTIONS OF EVIL (2002) d: Damon Packard
Simply one of the greatest films ever made.
The term “genius” is thrown around much too freely these days. My friends, true genius comes from a place where precious few dare to tread. It comes from a place of utter obsession and passion, a place where the mainstream and the fringe are one and the same, a place where ideas and images flow together like thoughts. My dear friends, I give to you a film that has changed my life forever. I will never look at my art or my passion the same way again. I honestly think Mr. Packard is not of this Earth. He simply vibrates on a different frequency than most human beings. Is he our savior? Our Messiah? Only time will tell, but I will ask you this, my dear, dear friends… Do you have the inner strength to decide for yourselves? www.reflectionsofevil.com
FRIGHT FACT! I met Damon Packard before I knew who he was. Since watching REFLECTIONS OF EVIL, I have been working nonstop to tune myself onto different levels of consciousness in order to travel back in time to that fateful day with the knowledge I now possess. –jsyn. -8/06
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2010
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2009
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2007
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- ICONS INTERVIEW: Actress Mercedes McNab From HATCHET
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- ICONS INTERVIEW: Writer Joe Harris, THE TRIPPER!
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2006
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- FIRST LOOK: EVIL DEAD: THE MUSICAL
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- ICONS INTERVIEW: Ken Sagoes From A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Judah Friedlander!
- ICONS INTERVIEW: SCREAM’s David Arquette!
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Ryan Schifrin, Writer Director of ABOMINABLE
- ICONS INTERVIEW: John Shiban, Director of REST STOP
- ICON INTERVIEW: JT Petty, Director S&MAN
- THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND THE OBSCURE: ISSUE 13
- FIRST LOOK: FEAST
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- ICONS INTERVIEW: Nick Palumbo, Writer Director of MURDER SET PIECES
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Actress Raine Brown
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Writer Director Filmmaker Gary Sherman
- FIRST LOOK: 39 – A FILM BY CARROLL MCKANE
- GRINDHOUSE AFICIONADO: ISSUE 3
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Actress Lin Shaye From 2001 MANIACS!
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Actress Christa Campbell From 2001 MANIACS!
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Actor David Morwick From LITTLE ERIN MERRYWEATHER
- THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND THE OBSCURE: ISSUE 12
- ICONS INTERVIEW: FX Artist Greg Nicotero of KNB!
- FIRST LOOK: THE DESCENT
- FIRST LOOK: BEHIND THE MASK – THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Mark Pavia, Writer Director of NIGHT FLIER
- GRINDHOUSE AFICIONADO: ISSUE 2
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Comic Writer Steve Niles, Creator of 30 DAYS OF NIGHT
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Adam Green, Writer Director of HATCHET!
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Actor / Filmmaker Joe Zaso
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- ICONS INTERVIEW: James Wan, Director of SAW!
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Actor Liev Schreiber on THE OMEN!
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Actress Julia Stiles on THE OMEN!
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Actress Mia Farrow on THE OMEN!
- ICONS INTERVIEW: John Moore, Director of THE OMEN
- FIRST LOOK: HATCHET
- FIRST LOOK: LITTLE ERIN MERRYWEATHER
- FIRST LOOK: Takashi Miike’s IMPRINT
- GRINDHOUSE AFICIONADO: ISSUE 1
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Actress Wendy Kremer From 2001 MANIACS
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Actor Mushmond Lee From 2001 MANIACS
- THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND THE OBSCURE: ISSUE 10
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Filmmaker David “Slave” Stagnari
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Filmmaker Will Rot
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Tibor Takas, Director of THE GATE
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Actor Danny Lopes
- THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND THE OBSCURE: ISSUE 9
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Writer / Director Oz Perkins
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Filmmaker Steve Daniels
- FIRST LOOK: SLITHER
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Filmmaker Composer Jake Hamilton
- FIRST LOOK: THE HILLS HAVE EYES (2006)
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- THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND THE OBSCURE: ISSUE 8
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Director Uwe Boll
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Filmmaker Steven Shea
- THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND THE OBSCURE: ISSUE 7
2005
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Writer / Director Paul Solet
- THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND THE OBSCURE: ISSUE 6
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Don Shanks, Michael Myers In HALLOWEEN 5
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Paul Kratka From FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3
- ICONS INTERVIEW: WE ALL FALL DOWN Writer / Director Jake Kennedy
- FIRST LOOK: SATAN’S PLAYGROUND
- ICONS INTERVIEW: SIN-JIN SMYTH Writer / Director Ethan Dettenmaier
- ICONS INTERVIEW: THE RADIO MECHANICS Writer / Director Jonathan Johnson
- THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND THE OBSCURE: ISSUE 5
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Interview 2 with Writer / Director Stevan Mena
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Interview 2 with Writer / Director Dante Tomaselli
- ICONS INTERVIEW: HORROR BUSINESS Director Christopher P. Garetano
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Writer / Director Adam Barnick
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Filmmaker / Horror Collector John Torrani
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Writer / Actor Joshua Nelson
- THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND THE OBSCURE: ISSUE 4
- ICONS INTERVIEW: HALLOWEEN 6 Screenwriter Daniel Farrands
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Patricia Tallman From NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD 1990
- THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND THE OBSCURE: ISSUE 3
- ICONS INTERVIEW: BLACK CHRISTMAS Director Bob Clark
- THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND THE OBSCURE: ISSUE 2
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Edwin Neal From THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Ben Chapman, The Gillman From CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON
- THE VAULT OF THE FORGOTTEN AND THE OBSCURE: ISSUE 1
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Brandon Johnson From MALEVOLENCE
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Samantha Dark From MALEVOLENCE
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Keith Chambers From MALEVOLENCE
- FIRST LOOK: CREEP
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Judith O’ Dea From NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
- FIRST LOOK: HIGH TENSION
- Icons Of Fright Meets Shaun Of The Dead!
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Paul Swearingen
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Lance Warlock From HALLOWEEN II
2004
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Diana Barrows From FRIDAY THE 13TH 7
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Brad Loree, Michael Myers in HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Burton C Bell of FEAR FACTORY
- ICONS INTERVIEW: PJ Soles From HALLOWEEN
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Ellie Cornell From HALLOWEEN 4
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Stevan Mena, Writer & Director of MALEVOLENCE
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Felissa Rose, Angela From SLEEPAWAY CAMP
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Ladies Of The EVIL DEAD
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Lar Park Lincoln From FRIDAY THE 13TH 7
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Ron Millkie From FRIDAY THE 13TH
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Warrington Gillette, Jason in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Betsy Palmer From FRIDAY THE 13TH
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Larry Zerner From FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3
- ICONS INTERVIEW: SLEEPAWAY CAMP Webmaster Jeff Hayes
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Tony Timpone from FANGORIA Magazine
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Actor Stu Charno from FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Writer / Director Dante Tomaselli
- ICONS INTERVIEW: Producer Anthony Masi