February 3, 2016

Sometimes, there are characters in genre pictures that are so darned righteous and awesome, you can’t stop thinking about them or their amazing feats long after the movie is over. This column is dedicated to those cinematic bad-asses that keep us coming back for more. And sure, up until now, we’re saluted plenty of men and women within the horror genre. It’s time to turn our attention to man’s best friend. To one of our most cherished furry companions. To a canine with some real heart and soul. That’s right, fiends.

It’s time to give our respect to Beast, the dog from THE HILLS HAVE EYES 1 & 2.

No seriously. I just treated myself to a double feature of both Wes Craven’s 1977 original, along with its 1984 sequel and of all the characters in both movies, the most competent, take-action, kick-ass one – by a landslide – was Beast.

Let’s step back a moment. In the original movie, the Carters have two dogs, Beauty and Beast. But fairly early on in the flick when the trailer breaks down, these two dogs go gallivanting around the neighboring hills and unfortunately, Beauty meets her end at the sharp end of one of the cannibalistic clan’s knives! Poor Beauty is split open down the middle and discovered by Bobby who heads back to the trailer and never tells his family about the grisly demise of one of the two dogs. Beast just lost his best friend, his one true love. It may take this family of pacifists the entire duration of the movie before they revert to bloodthirsty, revenge craving savages, but Beast is ready to attack & rock ‘n roll as soon as he re-joins the action!

Where Beast really shines is 8 years later when he returns for the sequel. Yes, just to be clear here, only 3 characters from the original came back. Bobby, Ruby and Beast, the dog. It’s a good thing too, because the only way we can see the events of the first movie is through Beast’s flashback sequences! And they are aplenty in THE HILLS HAVE EYES PART II!

But the moment that proves what a damned bad-ass Beast truly is, is when Ruby threatens Pluto with the animal’s presence. The mere mention of the pup brings Pluto into shocks of fear as he jumps up and proclaims, “that dog’s not sneaking up on me this time!” What happens 2 seconds later? The dog sneaks up on him and tackles him. That’s not all!

A bit later, Pluto is up on the top of one of the hills ready to attack one of the survivors and who comes to save the day? Beast the dog, of course. Beast comes out of nowhere and pushes Pluto off the edge of the hill where he plunges to his death! We then see our hero, Beast at the top of the hill, striking his victory pose and looking like a total stud.

Beast, for being more effective at fighting and defeating those pesky, murderous, cannibalistic cave dwellers, we proudly salute you and think you’ve more than earned this hashtag.

#RESPECT