March 9, 2017

Do you ever think of the unfortunate people in genre movies that get killed off, and yet have nothing to do with the main plot or any of the main characters? Do you wonder what the hell did they ever do in their personal lives to end up being the most unlucky people in cinematic history? You know, the ones that usually don’t even get their character name in the credits? Is it karma for past life discretions perhaps?

In honor of the upcoming release of KONG: SKULL ISLAND this weekend, I thought I’d revisit the film that started it all, the original 1933 version of KING KONG! I grew up a child of the 1976 version, and loved it, but I also have always had a deep appreciation for the original KING KONG. One particular scene stood out to me on this go round.

In the finale, as Kong makes his way up the side of the Empire State Building, there’s a moment where he stops, notices a woman sleeping in one of the apartments, reaches in and grabs her thinking it’s his love Ann Darrow (Fay Wray), and when he realizes it’s not her, he just drops her several stories down to her death. I have no idea if this character even has a name in the credits, but can you imagine being in this poor woman’s place?

Think about it. This is Manhattan. I bet the rent on that apartment is high as hell, meaning she probably works extra hard just to be able to afford it. Maybe even two jobs for all we know. She probably came home that night, completely exhausted by the day’s events. She’s enjoying some beauty sleep, and then is awakened when a giant freakin’ monkey hand grabs her and literally rips her out of bed. She was dreaming about God knows what, and then seconds later, she’s dangled by a giant ape outside her apartment window. I wonder if she even had time to process what the hell was going on! And then Kong drops her? The entire way down, she probably thought, “well, this isn’t the way I thought I’d go.”

Maybe I just grew up sensitive when it comes to these characters. Or maybe I just don’t take death, in particular cinematic death, lightly!

I’ll never forget when my older brother took me to go see Paul Verhoeven’s TOTAL RECALL back in 1990, which would mean I was 14 years old at the time, and naturally, a huge fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger. There’s a scene where he’s running from the “bad guys,” and on an escalator. Some dude with a backpack is in front of him, minding his own damn business, probably on vacation or something, just looking to see a bit of the world like he’s always wanted to. And then he gets hit by a random bullet not even meant for him! And even worse, Arnold takes this guy’s body and uses it as a human shield. It gets pelted with rounds, and blood squibs explode everywhere, as only they could in a Verhoeven film from this time period. When we left the movie, and I talked about it with my brother, I just fixated on this one moment, maybe because I imagined that guy on the escalator could’ve easily been one of my older brothers getting caught in the cross fire of something they had nothing to do with. I remember thinking, what is the call to that man’s family like? “Um, yes, man, a fugitive spy used your son as a human shield. It’s probably not going to be an open casket funeral. Sorry.”

The third act of Peter Jackson’s gory masterpiece DEAD ALIVE (or BRAIN DEAD for all you readers overseas) has its fair share of partygoers that suffer a horrific fate when the epic zombie outbreak happens. The death of this poor gal (pictured below) inspired the awesome VHS/DVD cover art, AND she has a name. It’s a few minutes after her demise where her friend says, “Mandy! It’s me! Rita! Remember?” Here are the only two party guests (and subjects of this article) that get to clearly state their actual names, even if they both die horribly anyways.

Remember the deaf janitor that dressed up as Santa in the original SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT? That poor sap. Trying to do a good deed to cheer up the kids at the orphanage, and what happens to him? He gets gunned down by a police officer in front of the children!

These kind of casualties are common in crime related thrillers and dramas. One scene that always stood out for me in Quentin Tarantino’s directorial debut RESERVOIR DOGS takes place minutes after the botched bank robbery. Tim Roth’s Mister Orange and Harvey Keitel’s Mister White attempt to car jack a woman’s car, the woman pulls out a gun from her glove compartment, puts one in Orange’s belly, and without hesitation, he shoots a completely innocent woman dead. Now, in the off chance you haven’t seen RESERVOIR DOGS, I won’t spoil why this is weird, but to put it in basic terms, how often does the supposed “good guy” do a really bad thing, and to someone that has zero relation to the main narrative?

What can I say? I guess I’m an extremely sensitive horror loving movie watcher.

Well, at least Jimmy Buffett as “Margarita Man” in JURASSIC WORLD managed to survive, and save both his drinks!